The Chadstitution
by SWAC4Life
Summary: We the people of the United States, in order to form a more Chadtastic Union, establish Chadness, ensure the protection of his golden locks, provide for the whitening of his perfect teeth... The Chadstitution.


(A/N): Hey, it's been awhile! I'm surprised I actually started sort of writing again. I'm sorry that I haven't updated any of my stories, read any of your updates, or responded to any of your reviews. Really. I am. Anyways, this story was inspired by TheRealChadDC on Twitter, who is amazing and deserves more than this short, lousy story. I know that it's not exactly long, but it's not exactly supposed to be. It will probably be around 3-4 chapters long (one for each article) unless I run out of ideas. Speaking of Twitter, please follow me-- BroadwayManiac. And special thanks to Fluffness, who sent me a PM asking me to update. That really put a smile on my face. Thank you. Anyways, despite the lack of creativity, and the shortness, please enjoy this Chadstitution thingy! NOT EDITED.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sonny with a Chance. ... or Chad Dylan Cooper.

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

From: the desk of SWAC4Life

To: the authors of the Sonny with a Chance Fanfiction community

_**The Chadstitution**_

**Preamble**

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more Chadtastic Union, establish Chadness, ensure the protection of his golden locks, provide for the whitening of his perfect teeth, promote the general Chadfare, and secure the blessings of this amazing actor to ourselves and his Chadness, do ordain and establish this Chadstitution for the United States of America.

**Article One- The Basic Essence of his Chadness**

Section One- His Impeccable Acting

Chad Dylan Cooper is, and always will be, the greatest actor of our generation, and for many generations to come. This, of course, is pure, solidified, obvious fact. There is no denying it. Any peoples or persons to contradict or say otherwise will hereby be burned at the stake. (For further elaboration, refer to Section Four)

Section Two- His Hair

Nobody touches Chad Dylan Cooper's hair. The lush, vast, rich fields of golden beauty will not react well when disturbed. One must praise Chad Dylan Cooper's gorgeous masterpiece of hair at a minimum of three times a day, even when not in his presence. Any peoples or persons who do not participate in this practice will hereby be forced to watch a year's worth of Oprah reruns.

Section Three- His Smile

Chad Dylan Cooper's smile is the most dazzling thing the beings of the Earth have experienced since sunlight. It may be even brighter than sunlight. A 2% income tax is required to be paid every month by every person residing in the country; it will be used to fund for any bills that may come forth regarding teeth whitening and bleaching. Any peoples or persons who refuse to pay this tax will hereby be sentenced to a week without seeing Chad Dylan Cooper's finely chiseled features.

Section Four- Mackenzie Falls

The prestigious Tween Choice Award is a symbol of the show's success, unlike that of So Random! Mackenzie Falls has been ranked number one show for two consecutive years, received countless favorable reviews, and has guest starred actors such as James Conroy, Hannah Montana, and Ashley Tisdale. Any peoples or persons who hate, flame, or poke fun at Mackenzie Falls will hereby be forced to watch Asian soap operas (with NO subtitles).

Section Five- His Hotness

Chad Dylan Cooper is gorgeous, talented, and undeniably hot. He has been ranked, in seven magazines, hotter than Zac Efron [1], Justin Bieber [2], and even Edward Cullen [3]. Although he still has no idea who Edward Cullen is, his pectoral muscles, six pack, and toned legs clearly demonstrate his rising popularity. Any peoples or persons who object to this, or call Chad Dylan Cooper ugly, will hereby be given a ten hour lecture on how to sharpen a mechanical pencil.

Section Six- His Ego

Chad Dylan Cooper, the greatest, hottest, most prestigious actor of our generation, has an ego the size of the Great Wall of China. There is evidence and studies showing that it is possibly larger than the Great Wall, though currently we still have not proven it. His ego, however, merely adds to his public appeal. Any peoples or persons who label his pride as annoying, stupid, and pointless will hereby be verbally harassed by a giraffe.

Section Seven- His Academic Genius

Contrary to popular belief, Chad Dylan Cooper could very well become the next Albert Einstein. He has made numerous achievements in the math, science, and writing fields. He is currently working on his first tutorial, _How to Be Awesome like Me, _and his biography, _From Diapers to Supreme Awesomeness: the Chad Dylan Cooper Story _[4]. Any peoples or persons who do not purchase one or more copies of his books when they are released will hereby be forced to live on paper for the next ten years.

Section Eight- Musical Prodigy

Chad Dylan Cooper is a musical prodigy. He has a voice of an angel and plays the guitar with incredible beauty. He has done covers of various songs, and has began song writing as of July 19, 2004. He is currently considering releasing an album. Seeing as it would be wrong to label his music as something frivolous and "ordinary" like country, pop, rock, etc., his style of music is now deemed as Chadetry. Any peoples or persons who insult Chad Dylan Cooper's music will hereby be pelted at with graham crackers and snowballs.

Section Nine- Always Correct

Chad Dylan Cooper is always right. He can never be wrong. It is simply against the laws of nature and Chadness. Any peoples and persons who object to this will hereby be wedded to a hobo.

Section Ten- Denial

Chad Dylan Cooper is "not in denial about a certain bubbly brunette" [5]. He has confirmed this himself, and seeing as Chad Dylan Cooper is always right (refer to Section Nine), this just has to be so. Any peoples or persons who insist that he is secretly in love, in denial, and hiding his affections will hereby be shunned to the Underworld.

_Notes:_

_[1]- Chad Dylan Cooper will always be better than Zac Efron, who is still banned from the sets of Mackenzie Falls. Despite working together in the hit movie, 17 Again, Chad has decided to keep Zac Efron's photograph on the "Do Not Admit" wall._

_[2]- Chad Dylan Cooper has commented that Justin Bieber sounds like an eleven-year-old girl, and will probably never hit puberty. Chad Dylan Cooper is always right._

_[3]- Edward Cullen's unnaturally pale, rock hard skin is nothing compared to Chad Dylan Cooper's tanned, smooth complexion. Chad Dylan Cooper will always be one thousand and one times more attractive than the blood-sucking vampire._

_[4]- _From Diapers to Supreme Awesomeness- the Chad Dylan Cooper Story_ will be in stores on March 21, 2010. Preorder your copy on www .chaddylancooper .com, for a mere $24.99._

_[5]- Sonny Munroe._

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Please review! :) And follow the following people on Twitter: TheRealSonnyM, TheRealChadDC, MiszTawni, HotJamesC, TheRealZoraL... wow, there's way too many to list! They're all pretty much amazing, so just follow every person that they follow! (I suppose)

PEACE OUT SUCKAS!!

SWAC4Life


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